I'd wear matching sweaters with you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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