You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
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