Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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