I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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