That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize