I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize