idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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