Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

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(313): I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money. http://tfl.nu/rs3f

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush

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(859): I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush http://tfl.nu/5sx8

Replies (33) Good night (840) Bad night (1763) Order T-Shirt
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(251): View more from Alabama

but she was nice to me.

(256): View more from Alabama

She was a fuckin STRIPPER.

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(251): but she was nice to me. (256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER. http://tfl.nu/n11b

Replies (25) Good night (2224) Bad night (3505)
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(772): View more from Florida

What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?

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(772): What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous? http://tfl.nu/ray0

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(937): View more from Ohio

I forgot how hot balto sounded

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(937): I forgot how hot balto sounded http://tfl.nu/4hja

Replies (18) Good night (3533) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...

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(425): I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results... http://tfl.nu/tn0b

Replies (14) Good night (1004) Bad night (7686) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(802): Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there. http://tfl.nu/8qlt

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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(703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz

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(516): View more from New York

How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?

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(516): How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear? http://tfl.nu/ycsa

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(804): View more from Virginia

i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks

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(804): i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks http://tfl.nu/m5sm

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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(541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42

Replies (11) Good night (616) Bad night (1002)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.

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(575): Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end. http://tfl.nu/gjro

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(303): View more from Colorado

So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.

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(303): So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/vqqs

Replies (8) Good night (1635) Bad night (518)
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(561): View more from Florida

There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.

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(561): There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow. http://tfl.nu/9y2p

Replies (5) Good night (1828) Bad night (499)
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(650): View more from California

He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.

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(650): He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse. http://tfl.nu/0nh4

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