I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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