"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize