you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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