I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize