I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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