When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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