Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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