Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize