im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize