Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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