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you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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