can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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