It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize