i already hear my dad disowning me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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