Who did Billy Mays play for?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize