where am i from again
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
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He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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