I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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