I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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