The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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