You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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