lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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