We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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