let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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