How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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