New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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