Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

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  (203): I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt. http://tfl.nu/mij5
  Replies (9) Good night (682) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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  (225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm
  Replies (32) Good night (2912) Bad night (456)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.

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  (724): This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text. http://tfl.nu/bfqf
  Replies (15) Good night (2323) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.

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  (802): i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager. (802): ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon. http://tfl.nu/jfhq
  Replies (28) Good night (543) Bad night (1936)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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  (856): are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins http://tfl.nu/byok
  Replies (16) Good night (3655) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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  (509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj
  Replies (10) Good night (5505) Bad night (1421)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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  (770): I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia. http://tfl.nu/25qr
  Replies (14) Good night (2510) Bad night (1231)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (3924) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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  (267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn
  Replies (13) Good night (4308) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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  (530): I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me. http://tfl.nu/jc9x
  Replies (29) Good night (4164) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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  (734): The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me. http://tfl.nu/j8wb
  Replies (6) Good night (706) Bad night (1469) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.

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  (706): Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week. http://tfl.nu/4lee
  Replies (5) Good night (2625) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.

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  (925): I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place. http://tfl.nu/fozt
  Replies (10) Good night (1276) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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  (661): Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them. http://tfl.nu/la60
  Replies (5) Good night (1115) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (1465) Order T-Shirt

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