he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize