Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize