Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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