i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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