dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm at about main and main street
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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