You're so nebulous sometimes
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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