they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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