his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
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I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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