first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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