Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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