I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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