My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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