I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize