everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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