Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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