Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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